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Welcome to Make More Money without Selling Your Soul with me Polly Lavarello, evergreen marketing expert. This podcast is for you if you are an online entrepreneur who is looking to simplify their business to scale.  On this podcast you can expect to hear regular talk about wealth, about selling and about wellbeing. Because I believe these three core fundamental things are pivotal to your growth moving forward.

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Hello and welcome to make more money without selling your soul with myself Polly Lavarello, evergreen marketing expert and cushy business pioneer.

And today we are leaning into the well being thread of this podcast. Yes, we’re talking about your embodied CEO toolkit. Now to be entirely transparent on the reasons why I’m motivated to speak to this theme is because very shortly, we are offering a beautiful, truly accessible this one kind of mini course on embodied is called embodied game. And it’s to support you with your own embodied CEO toolkit because it’s been it’s played such a fundamental role, not just in my own growth, but the growth of my clients too. Now, as you probably are aware, most people associate me with strategy. And my clients, once they’ve come to work with me, we’ll all reflect the fact that I combine strategy, with mindset with subconscious with embodiment, with all the tools because ultimately, while they’re not something that are heavy focus in our calls, ultimately, I see the whole person. And to create a truly sustainable business, which is what we’re all here to do. We’re not here to be flash in the pan overnight success, we’re here to create something that can truly grow with us and grow beyond us. To do that, it needs to be in alignment with you, in alignment with your values, in alignment with your cycle, in alignment with your moods, in alignment with the life you desire to live, whether that’s the life of a digital nomad, or the life of a busy mum, or the life of somebody who actually really enjoys spending loads of hours on their business, whoever you are, wherever you’re at, whether you’re deciding that you want to be the next, you know, kind of best TEDx talk that anyone’s ever heard, or the next best selling author, regardless as to where you’re at.

There’ll be lots of people out there sharing various strategies that have worked for them. And the truth is, you know, ultimately, to choose a strategy that works best for us, and needs to start with you. One of the most valuable lessons I have ever been taught in business was by Susie Ashworth, when she used to regularly share a kind of prompt on a Monday saying, Who are you choosing to be, and if I remember, if it’s this week, or today, but it really, really stayed with me, who am I choosing to be because ultimately, it’s not about what you’re choosing to do. And that’s the biggest mistake so many people make, in fact, is what most people do for the first year or two in online businesses, they will flounder around trying to emulate other people who are being successful, naming their programmes, similar ways, structuring them similar ways launching similar ways. And it’s really only later on, when online business owners kind of reached a kind of almost stage, almost like to call maturity, where they start to recognise this is all made up. This is all made up, you get to do business in a way that feels good for you. And as long as you’re consistent with it, and persistent, when you can’t be consistent, then good things arrive.

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And a lot of the time in that times where it isn’t arriving immediately. It’s that patients we require it in the middle parts. But ultimately, like I say, the persistency where you can’t be consistent. And you know, finding a strategy that’s truly aligned with you, that gives you the space to be your fullest self, where you can really show up in a way that feels good. And one of the mistakes that people make that really hold them back is following strategies that are enormously out of alignment with themselves and their values. And in many cases, perhaps the experience they deliver once they’re working with their clients. You know, the key to a really successful and scalable business is congruency if you don’t like being visible, if your clients don’t like being visible, and yet you choose the strategy, where you’re where you’re kind of strategist is encouraging you to be incredibly visible, then it’s not surprising when that strategy doesn’t end up working for you. And it’s not to say

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can work for so many other people, but it won’t work for you because it’s not in alignment with yourself. Now, one of the reasons why people find themselves in this predicament is because they are not self aware enough in the first place to understand what suits them and what doesn’t, you know, it’s really important to be able to understand, you know, similarly, of course, it’s understanding that ultimately, when you’re growing online business, chances are, you’ll be doing a lot of new things for the first time, which is why there always is a kind of messy, middle, and messy middle, where you try on various things for size, to see how they fit. And then chuck away the ones that don’t. And actually, I think this is super healthy, I think it’s very hard to know what suits you what doesn’t until you’ve given it a good go.

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And this is why I kind of say there’s almost like a stage of maturity, where you’ve done the messy middle, you tried on things resize, and then you reach a stage where like, this is where I excel, I’m an excellent writer. So I’m going to be really focusing on emailing my mailing list, or I’m really natural on camera. I’m a really natural storyteller, whatever it is, when we start to lean into our strengths and really capitalise upon them. That’s where the magic happens. And this is why the search for the elusive strategy that’s going to save you can be dangerous, because ultimately, it’s got to start with you. It’s got to start with you. And it’s got to start with self leadership, and we can only be self LED. And that embodied co when we’re truly connected with ourselves when we take our body and mind for the ride on this crazy entrepreneurial journey, because where we neglect our body, where we neglect our well being. That’s the fast track to burnout. That’s the fast track to looking at a business going, Oh, well, it’s making money now. But actually, I hate it. I wanted to chuck it all in, I want to start all over again, you don’t need to be doing that. So today I’m talking about the four key areas that I have found pivotal in my journey to becoming

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Well, I was gonna say an embodied CEO or a cushy CEO. But I think it’s also important to say that I don’t ever see this, I don’t see like an end destination for any of this. For me, it’s a process that I get to lean into more deeply, all the time. But there’s always an opportunity for another level of depth and another level of awareness. So it’s very much a journey that I encourage you to embark on. And actually, it gets to be surprisingly simple. As you know, I’m not an embodiment expert. I’m not an expert in subconscious. I’m not an expert in mindset. So this is very much. But I’ve leaned into various experts in all of these spaces and in nutrition and in exercise and in various things. I’m an absolute well being holistic health, kind of, it’s gonna use a rude word there and but I love it. I’m all over that stuff. So like I say, I’m not coming here not positioning myself here as an expert, just talking to you from my area of experience in the hope that it will help you to, because ultimately, what I’ve come to recognise is we can massively overcomplicate these things. And there are a few simple principles that will keep you in good stead. So firstly, this was one of the things that really was most important to me. There are no rules.

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You know, what was really interesting, really early on in business, I really felt kind of, yeah, in the spotlight, because there was an element of like, but you’re the strategical person Polly, so you won’t understand x y Zed. And so I tried really desperately, really early on to, to understand it, I looked at all my well being grounded clients, who, you know, just just seemed to kind of use this natural authority, self acceptance, self love, and I was like, Break me off a piece of that. I want some of that, too. That looks fun.

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So I would look at what they did. And they all did different things. Some would say, oh, it’s about cold water immersion, and then journaling, and then long hour long walks, some would start their day with yoga, some would be getting up at 5am. To meditate. I mean that some went on massive long healing journeys, so many different things. I mean, I’m not going to go into all of them. But there were so many different invitations along different routes. And of course, because I’ve worked very closely with some very established Well, being coaches, you know, you’ve got incredible product suites, incredible offers, and the majority of them would kind of say, I want you to understand my offering, well, to be able to kind of support me well. So there were various invitations for me to kind of explore various different modalities and like, you know, experiences. So I did, I’ve delved into a lot and I’ve dabbled in a lot and that I remember nearly every single occasion until the work really started to seep in to almost feel this pressure. Because every single person would say this, this, my friend is the way you know, if you’re not journaling, then you’re missing out on x y Zed. If you’re not meditating, then you know it’s not going to work for you or you need to meditate for 90 days, so you’ll really start to see the benefits. And I guess in this, I mean, this is very similar to online business. And that a lot of the time, if we’re not seeing anything immediately working for us, we’ll latch on to the next thing. And the next thing and the next thing and next thing you know, you’re feeling really overwhelmed going, well, I learned how to storytelling, I’m doing PR, and I’m also posting reels, and I’ve just started on tick tock like, how many more things do I have to do to get it to work? So actually, it’s a really beautiful analogy here, I guess that kind of, it’s all part of the same thing, right. And the same way that in online business, it’s better to kind of find your lane and actively pursue it almost with blinkers, and not get distracted by outside noises. It’s very similar with your well being that it can end up feeling like an additional pressure, it can end up feeling like an additional stress to be like, Oh, I didn’t do my morning notes this morning, or yesterday or the day before. And now I’m having a bad day. Is it because isn’t because I stopped doing my morning notes.

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It Yeah. And I ultimately, I just feel like as a busy mom of two small kids, as you know, the main earner, somebody who has is having to very actively advocate for my son’s children’s needs.  I just don’t need like the wellbeing part of my life should be joyous. It should be expansive, and you know what actually it can be uncomfortable to it can be all the things. But ultimately,

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it’s not helpful to add it on as an additional pressure. So what I’ve kind of written here as a way to kind of encapsulate what I’m expressing here is, there are no rules. You know, what wellbeing looked like for me sometimes. I remember reaching out to my previous coach who supported me in the embodiment space times and crimsons Crimmins sorry times increments, not crimsons. And saying to her, my inner child right now, it’s chocolate, my cycles coming soon, I’m feeling anxious, feeling tired and feeling heavy. And all I want is some chocolate. And I remember her just saying to me, gonna get some chocolate there.  And I was really like, it was one of the most precious experiences working with Tamsin because it really, it was those kinds of moments, you know, similarly about Sam being really wobbly, and just like, okay, that’s very human, I can see where that’s going to be all those moments where I recognise that I get to make my own rules up, I get to lean into what feels good. And it might not always look like what you’d see on a perfectly curated Instagram, grid of green smoothies and toned, tiny bodies and tight lycra. And, you know, being in the woods at 12pm Every day. Sometimes it was simple as just having a cuddle with my cat on the bed, and eating a bit of chocolate, and perhaps watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills at 3pm on a Friday. But as I started to recognise that my own well being it’s sort of like what I desire it to be, and that sometimes it will be smoothies, and it will be cacao ceremonies, and it will be sound healing, and it will be breathwork. And then other times it’s other things, you know, it was satisfying all my different parts and making them all equally welcome. And the moment I started to recognise there is no rulebook, you get to decide, this is your life, your body, your experience, give yourself what you need, the moment when I stopped adding any shame or questions or rules, everything became easier. So that’s my first recommendation is yes, it is fun to explore all these different ways that we can take care of ourselves. And like I say, I’m a bit of a welding junkie, I love all of it. And if you ever find yourself seeing it as an additional pressure, just let go of that pressure, does honour whatever part of you, whatever it wants, you know, allow there to be cycles and seasons. That’s perfectly okay. One of the most tiring things is that judgemental voice that can come into our heads, and that is not helpful, which leads really beautifully onto point number two, which is compassion and curiosity. It was through me proactively fostering a kind of what you know, compassionate and curious way of perceiving my own thoughts and behaviours. That enabled me to, to be somebody with no rules. And to understand sometimes it’s fun to be kind of, I was gonna use the word militant, that’s not really the word, but to be you know, persistent and consistent and to be, you know, showing up regularly for the things I desire and also sometimes fun just to, you know, press that snooze button, have a lion. You know, ultimately, you know your life best and just honouring it you know, when you can be compassionate to yourself and not judge yourself, when you can be curious to allow for perhaps the kind of the learnings that need to seep through to help us understand how we can support ourselves better. The more I allow things like let’s go get some chocolate then. Let’s go cuddle a cat. Actually, those were the baby steps.

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towards doing even more nourishing kind of things myself. But if I hadn’t taken those first baby steps towards allowing myself what I need in that moment, then those other deeper, bigger, more prominent shifts wouldn’t have come and come about. So if you hear yourself speaking to yourself badly about whatever it is, whether it’s a sales call that went wrong, whether it’s how you’re writing your next post, and you’re questioning whether you’re doing a good job or not, whether it’s about who you’ve hired, and whether how, you know, whatever it is just learning to be compassionate with yourself.

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And like I say, curious, because in those moments, you know, recognising, I was curious, I’m really wanting chocolate right now, what is it that I’m actually needing? You know, in those moments ago, oh, well, actually, I’m finding this particular kind of exercise stressful, okay, so knowing that it’s stressful, is this something I don’t need to be doing? If it is something I need to be doing? Is there a way I can go about it, where I don’t end up feeling like I need to go do XYZ to feel better, or that other more nurturing, gentle kind ways in my body that I could be similarly providing some stress relief myself, that’s not necessarily in the shape of a chocolate bar. These are the ways that we can compassionately and curiously almost self coach ourselves towards the solutions we need.

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Number three, this one might be more pertinent to myself than it is to others. I know some people are really unaffected by their cycles. For me, again, I used to think working with cycles was challenging. In terms of, I just found it was another thing to think about, which is really funny. Now, when I look back, I remember just thinking I’m too busy. You wondering, you know what’s going on in my cycle, but it’s so you can start with something as simple as just simply tracking your cycle, just knowing when it’s starting, and when it’s finishing, it is one, one simple baby step towards, you know, understanding your cycle.

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And then similarly, what I started to recognise, and I think I’ve referenced this in other podcasts is that I get very anxious, and quite low, and that a day or two prior to my cycle, I also get very tired and my cycles actually here because I have endometriosis. So I have problematic cycles, which, you know, again, I need to kind of work around and be aware of.

So for example, if I’m launching something new, if I’m going to be getting on sales calls, doing that, around the time that my cycle is due on or is actually happening is not the best time to do it. Also, I think it’s important to say, you know, you don’t always need to be high vibe and positive, of course, I have still sold during those periods. So it’s not to say quite literally, so it’s not to say that you should just not do things on those days. But what I have done is, you know, if there’s accounting or any kind of more of the Herman T type tasks in my business, I save them for that time of the month. And then similarly, when I’m feeling kind of most motivated and energetic, that’s when I tend to schedule most of my content. So yeah, learning to work with a cycle, if you’re somebody who has a cycle has been really pivotal for me in terms of ensuring that I work in a way that feels really good for myself. And then finally, this one’s an interesting one is I think it’s interesting tuning in to sensory needs. This is a well I say, this is interesting. For me, it was really fascinating, because when my children kind of started on their kind of autism pathways, that was when it was highlighted to me what it is to even have sensory needs, and how sensory needs can be what how we how we respond to things in a sensory way, and what things can be done to help regulate us when we are feeling dysregulated. And alongside learning how to support my children, it made me think Why do adults do this so little, because many of us whether we’re on the spectrum or not, can benefit from sensory things. I mean, that’s why so many of us like massages, and that’s why so many of us will have something to eat if we’re feeling a bit stressed because there’s so many things we do without understanding that’s why we do them. And it also helped me recognise that one of the reasons why I was very tempted to have a strong drink as of a Friday evening was because I was feeling overstimulated, perhaps a bit overwhelmed. And so by having a drink, it would help me numb out a bit in the evening. It just helped me kind of it was the off button from working it was making my brain actually feel a little bit fuzzy so that it was hard for me to continue thinking about work now that obviously isn’t necessarily very healthy yet so many of us do that. And this is one the reasons why I have played with sobriety and have various sober stints. I’ve never gone fully sober. But I like to be very intentional about how I drink. I like to be very self aware, compassionate and curious about how I choose my drinking habits to be predominately essentially create a work life and balance, it doesn’t put me in a situation where I feel the need to do that.

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And part of that is understanding what helps me in a sensory way. So things like hot baths, showers, you know, brushing my hair was suddenly no grounding going out into the going for a walk and just getting my feet on the grass stroking my cat, I mean, this such such simple things so readily available to us, even the simple act of baking some banana bread, that delicious smell of, you know, the bananas cooking. And similarly, that sense of just getting our hands sticky and dirty, when we’re baking something, or getting into the garden, you know, and being, you know, using your hands in the earth, like, we’re so disconnected from these things these days. And it does really impact you. So, such a simple exercise is to integrate one of those things, whether it’s gardening or cooking, or being outdoors and truly noticing what’s around you. Or simply you know, for me another thing I did was I started using silk silk pillowcase and having essential oils burning while I’m doing work and you know, some incense as a kind of signifier towards the end of the day and burning candles in the winter, such simple things. But honestly, when I look at who I am today, versus who I was a year ago, or even two years ago, it’s

an entirely different person. And like to say there was no rulebook, no guru to follow, no specific do this get up at 5am. It was simply about just becoming more in tune with myself, my body, my feelings, and having that heightened level of self awareness, self compassion, self love, self care. And like I say, I’m kind of excited for the version of me that records probably another version of this New Year’s time and how much deeper This journey has gone. And if you are like me very much, someone who used to intellectualise your well being who had all the books, love listening to all the podcasts, but was terrible at implementing it and had it as a one day thing. I’m really hoping that by listening today’s podcast, it will encourage you and invite you to recognise that there are little things you could be doing now, that will make such a big difference to the bigger picture.

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So there we have it, my lovely, I hope that was helpful. Just to wrap things up. So essentially, it boils down to no rules throughout the rulebook do not worry about you know which book you bought, and which strategy you should be following in terms of how to take care of yourself. Just love on yourself and listen to what you need. So no rules, lead with compassion and curiosity. work if you have a cycle, work with it. And start learning to tune in to your sensory needs. Write down a list of all the things that help you feel calmer and happier. And put it up somewhere and lean into any of those things. Whenever you’re having a moment where you need it. Maybe it’s dancing and having a little shake it off before you get on the Zoom call, wherever it is, no matter how small no matter how silly, embrace it, and see how different you feel in a month’s time. It’s all there. It’s all available. It’s free and it’s all yours. So go on and knock yourself out next week. I’m talking about the hot topic of selling over summer. Yep, there is a different way to sell in the summer and I’m going to be breaking down the three mistakes to avoid the two things you can be doing to ensure that you’ve got consistent inquiries coming in over the summer. I’m so looking forward to recording this juicy episode. See you all then and if you found today’s episode helpful, please do give it a share or not share it with a friend or give it a review whatever it is you can to add some juicy, lovely support to this podcast so I can get it to as many ears as possible. Lots of love to you all. I’ll be in your ears next week.