00:00

Welcome to Make More Money Without Selling Your Soul. The podcast for bold entrepreneurs ready to simplify scale and reclaim their time. I’m Polly Lavarello, Evergreen scaling strategist and cushy business pioneer. Join me and my occasional guests as we explore the themes of wealth, selling and well-being, because building a business that works for you changes everything. Let’s dive in.

00:37

Welcome to the show. This episode is going to be the first of its kind, with my guest, Lauren White, who is also a friend, but beyond that, and more importantly, this is going to be a spicy themed episode, because she is an award winning sexologist, certified sexological body worker and business mentor for women who want their erotic intelligence to generate potency in the bedroom and power their leadership in business. She’s also the host of the award nominated can’t speak Apparently, her white hot business podcast where sex, pleasure and wealth intersect with business and leadership. She’s an international speaker and the author of permission personal liberation for switched on women. I am so excited for this conversation. I have been well, I’ve been in a mastermind with Lauren in the past. I’ve also just been keeping in touch with her ever since, because her whole philosophy of living a life that is turned on is just so freaking captivating. And I’m so excited to take you along for the ride while Lauren and I have a conversation about where strategy meets sex. So let’s dive in. Shall we? Oh, my goodness, Lauren, I am so excited to have you on today’s show talking about things we have never explored on this show before. Make more money without selling your soul. So for anyone who has not heard of you before, I mean, how could they not but whoever, if anyone, who’s not yet discovered you, please. Can you introduce yourself to my listeners?

02:21

Yes, most definitely. My name is Lauren white, and I am a qualified sexologist and a certified sexological body worker and a business mentor to women in leadership who want to ignite the next level with their erotic power.

02:41

Amazing. I mean, I mean, where did that even all begin? Like, how long? I mean, how did it all start? Because there’s a business angle, there’s a sex angle, which came first. And how did you kind of deep dive into it? And I’m going to try and avoid all the naughty puns, but they are just going to totally come out just, you’ll have to forgive me for that advance.

03:04

Oh no, no, no. I still use them. I still use them with my husband every day as well. It’s like I can’t resist a pun or a double entendre. I just, I can’t, I can’t I just think they’re the nectar of life. But when you asked what came first, that’s really easy. The sex came first. And the longer I do this work and live this life and live within this erotic frequency, the more I realize the sex always comes first. It really does. And something I’ve said a long time, even before I was speaking specifically about business, is going to your sexuality literally addresses everything that you’re experiencing as a personal or professional concern, and that’s because sexuality work goes straight to the root. It’s there’s nowhere to hide. There is nowhere to hide. You are so vulnerable, but it’s so precise, and it’s so specific, and it’s so nuanced. And naturally, I’m saying this all through the lens of safety, of course, and and working with people that are trauma informed. But when you choose to go there, it is just revelatory. It just opens up everything. And so the sex came first. It was something I was always interested in from when I was really young, got a BHS of where did I come from? And I don’t know if you’ve got a UK version of that, but it really is like a cartoon of like, how sex happens and how babies are made. And I was just like, I was enthralled. I was like, How could anyone not find this so interesting? I was in and later on in life, I studied sexology and worked as a sex therapist for a number of years within my own practice, and over time, I just started to see this merging of sexuality, power, pleasure, even secrets. My podcast was called. Secrets woman keep for a number of years, it was just this, like everything I did was like, it has to be the deep, potent, rich version of everything. It has to be intense. And over the over the years, I just started to see this merging of sex and eroticism and business and leadership. And just went well, that makes sense.

05:21

Yeah. Okay, so for anyone who’s listening and thinking, What does a sexologist do? Can you give me like the top line as to like, what is the work that a sexologist does?

05:32

Yeah, a sexologist is a person who is qualified in the scientific study of human sexuality, and that can go a number of different avenues, depending on what you’re interested in, like education, research, therapy, to name a few. For me, it was always going to be therapeutic. It was always going to be with a background in counseling and nursing. I always worked in drug and alcohol, mental health, those sort of really stigmatized areas. So sex just felt like the next natural frontier. Like if you’ve looked at addictions, if you’ve really gone into mental health, of course you’re going to go into sexuality and gender is like the next kind of the next, yeah, the next frontier, yeah. And so that’s where I went with my journey with sexology. And I’ve always wanted to support women to be in their fullest expression and in their own personal liberation of their sexuality, no matter what that looks like, no matter what someone says about it, no matter what the social constraints, no matter what just stripping all of that away and really being in full ownership of that, because it just revolutionizes your life. It revolutionizes how you show up. Revolutionizes like confidence, like going to your sexuality will ignite your confidence like nothing else. Because if you’ve gone there, you can walk into any room in the world and go, Well, I know all of this. So there is nothing that anyone can say to me. There is nothing that they can do to expose me, because I’ve already exposed myself to me, and I know what’s there, so it’s yeah. What if I want to go so

07:12

much deeper into that? But before we get into that, I actually wanted to touch on something you mentioned earlier about being trauma informed, because again, I think that’s something that some people already have awareness of, but not necessarily everyone. And as you mentioned earlier, there is a stigma attached to sex, and I think the trauma informed piece is really important. So would you mind kind of sharing it for anyone who’s unaware of what difference it makes to work with somebody who’s trauma informed? Do you mind just touching on that a moment for me.

07:39

Yeah, yeah, most definitely being trauma informed, as a clinician I see is it’s a necessity, and it’s a necessity because being trauma informed means that the person that you’re working with is going to be able to support you on a somatic level. Without that piece in my personal experience, I’ll just really speak for myself here, because I’m not I’m not in contact with a lot of other sexuality professionals out there, but for myself, I really see everything through the lens of, okay, where, where have you had positive experiences of sex? Where have you had negative experiences of sex. Where have you had unwanted experiences of sex and really supporting the person to navigate what is going on in their body in the present moment, so that they can have a sense of recognition for what they’ve been through and where it is that they want to go and what it is that they want to alchemize into something way more powerful and pleasurable. So in the past, a lot of sex, a lot of sexual, sex therapy just used to be what we call top down. It’s just working with the mind and how you think about sex, and mindset and and communication about sex, and all of that is naturally an important part of the conversation. But any practitioner you work with should be incredibly cognizant and deeply aware of what is going on from what we call the bottom up, which is really working with your whole body experiencing of sex pleasure in every way, shape and form. And I’ve always worked with the body. I’ve always incorporated the body into my sessions. It’s the first thing we do. I’ve done it as a sex therapist. I’ve done it as a business mentor. It’s always body first body first body first Where are you at in your body? And it’s really interesting how that augments and influences what it is that the person or the woman is here to do, and what she wants to address.

09:50

I’m so glad you shared that, and it seems like such a relevant conversation, because when I think about when metoo happened, a number of women who. Somehow, somewhere in their lives, have been negatively impacted by unwanted sexual which we carry, right? We carry in our bodies, not just in our minds. And I think one of the reasons why I wanted to touch on it is I can imagine that can be one of the reasons why there is a stigma around it. It’s us protecting ourselves, potentially from the fear of kind of excavating wounds that we’ve been carrying a long time, but I can only imagine the potency of when we can actually work through and come out the other side from those wounds that we that so many of us carry. And I do think there is, you know, obviously, in the online space, one of the things that can negatively impact sexology, and that work is those who don’t necessarily approach it with a trauma informed approach. That’s why I think it’s super relevant what you do. But I want to get into the spicier conversation which you were kind of heading towards earlier, in terms of kind of joining the dots between the work you do, you would well doing, and are doing as a sexologist and business like, tell us more about that. Say, tell us the royal we over here,

11:11

the royal we, I would love to tell the court, when women first come to see me, they have sex over here in one category, and they have their business over here in another category. And up until this moment, these things don’t seemingly interrelate or interconnect or converge in any way. And what I’m doing with her is saying, Okay, your business is this good. It’s doing this well. But what’s happening over here in your relationship, and there can be a number of different things going on if they’re in a relationship, and a lot of what I’ve been working with more recently is they’re in a good relationship, and they’ve got a good business. It’s incredible. And what’s happening is the dynamics that are remaining unaddressed in the relationship and in the bedroom are creating a power leak for her that’s having where there’s an impact on her business in some way, in terms of her energy and how she shows up. So there’s more, there’s more of a connection than we’ve ever given like that kind of thought to in that well, what if we go? What if we just don’t look at your business first? Let’s look at sex first. Just like I said before, sex first, let’s go to sex first, which is that everyone else in the world will probably go, let’s do sex last, because it’s the most charged. I say, Let’s go to their and I’m talking about intimacy. I’m talking about how they relate and how they connect. It’s all of that. It’s not just what happens strictly in the bedroom. It’s everything. So I’m looking at their whole relationship and saying, Okay, if you feel a greater sense of satisfaction in your relationship, if you feel a greater sense of being seen. If you take your partner off the pedestal, there’s a lot of that as well, like I will make myself uncomfortable for you. I just want you to be happy. I just want to preserve the relationship. When those kinds of dynamics are course, created, she’s got more energy for a business and she’s got more vitality. Because one thing that a lot of women do when they’re high performers is they overwork in their business. When there’s a sense of dissatisfaction in their relationship and home, it’s like, well, there’s not much going on here. There’s not really much for me, I might as well work like I might as well build something where I get some sort of response, or I get maybe what’s perceived as some kind of need met. And so really, it’s about rebalancing that out for her and making sure that if the relationship is going to continue, that there’s satisfaction, mutual respect, pleasure. Course, she’s feeling seen, she’s seeing them. Vice versa. Works both ways. Just really cleaning all of that up. And then you notice that things shift in the business, how she puts her energy in, when she puts her energy in, the style of energy that she puts in, because there’s no overcompensation for what isn’t being satiated elsewhere. I

14:19

think this is such an interesting conversation, because I’m just, honestly, you were triggering all the thoughts in my brain because I was thinking about how people approach business and so often, you know, they’ll have their journals, they’ll set their intentions, they’ll set their goals, they’ll think about their habits and how to be the best person for their business. And yet, how many of us do that? I mean, I say this knowing you probably do, but how many of us, and I’ll raise my hand here and admit that I’m not particularly good at this, do are as proactive in how we nurture and look after the most important relationship in our life? Yep, which you know, is very much a mirror to us and our lives. And the other thing that came to mind is, I’ve been in various self development spaces. Yeah. And one of the common things I’ve heard women say, and I’m very lucky, I got married a year ago, so I’m still in like that kind of honeymoon phase. But those who’ve been in like, long term relationships, one of the fears that is often brought up is I am afraid, when I am at my most successful version of myself, that I will lose my husband, or I’ll lose my significant other. I’ll lose my my loved one. And that’s interesting, because that almost indicates that, like that part of their life is passive, and that, you know, it either will come along for the journey or it won’t. And what I’m hearing from you is that actually where we choose to prioritize that part of our life, it gets to be part of the expansion, in fact, maybe even the kind of core nucleus of that, that transformation, rather than the part that gets left behind. Yeah,

15:46

exactly, exactly. And that fear is really common, the fear of success, meaning the breakdown of the relationship, that is really, really common for women in business, and it requires a nurturing and it requires multiple conversations with your partner and to speak to those fears and to really get in and address those issues early on, to clear the air and to be like if I if this keeps growing the way it does, how would you feel about it? How would you cope? Would this be a threat to our relationship in any way? And it’s such a good idea to get someone, a third party, on board to really support you through that, because you’re never going to regret the way that you invested in your relationship to fortify it for the inevitable changes that are going to come. And even if you’re even if we take the concept of success off the table in this conversation, and just say, you’ve got a business and you’ve got a relationship, you will change anyway, especially most of us, you know, and I assume most of your listeners, we’re in our 40s with undergoing a massive change in another change in our bodies and where and our partners are undergoing their own change as well. So even if your business doesn’t blow up, you’re still going to evolve as humans, and that requires fortification. I always think I did a post, I think maybe three months ago, and I might, you know, revitalize it again soon, but it was basically like you’re playing in the, you know, the velvet clad VIP room, gambling on your business, and then, you know, almost like investing, but you’re saying that your relationship’s the most important thing. Where’s the gamble on your relationship? Like, where’s the positive where’s the positive gamble on your relationship? Because the gamble is, you’re not gambling anything right now. So that’s a gamble in itself, in that there’s not that long term vision. I’m going to invest in this the same way, or in a similar way, maybe not exactly the same, but a similar way that we invest in our business. We can drop 20k on a mentor and say, Well, I’m doing this because I’m investing my business. But where is our edge with really investing in support in our relationship, and you will notice the bar radically shifts. It’s like, we can go on a holiday, or we can, you know, go on a date, or we can do this and that, but where’s the, like, nitty gritty support, high touch, like, where’s the, where’s the life version of that, or the relationship version of what we do? Yeah, and I think I find

18:27

this fascinating, because I’m thinking about how everyone I work with, you know, when it comes to, you know, like, of course, we want to be successful in business, but what are we all doing it for? We’re all doing it for those lovely holidays, those little bougie escapes. And who are we doing that with? Often, our loved ones, and the experience we have with that loved one is going to massively shape whether that’s something that looks good on Instagram, but actually behind the scenes is a mess, or whether it genuinely is a nurturing, fulfilling, beautiful thing. And I think one of the things I saw on your website earlier that felt really true, because again, when we think about women in our 40s, you know, a lot of divorce and stuff can be happening at this kind of phase in life. And I mean, I myself have been through a divorce, so no judgment over here, no but one thing I know to be true from having been that divorce is that, you know, we bring ourselves to every relationship, wherever in and to imagine that the person on the other side is going to be the person who’s going to make the difference is obviously not true. And you know that because that’s the work you do. I mean, obviously it influences it, but ultimately we bring ourselves to that party, and our ability to advocate for what we desire and claim what we desire, it’s interesting as well, because I think about all the stories you hear about how like receiving a compliment is like receiving money, but like, what’s the ultimate way of receiving it’s in the bedroom, isn’t it? It’s in the bed. And this is all adding up. It is

19:55

in the bedroom. It really is. We are at our most vulnerable so. So biologically, we’re at our most vulnerable, much like much like sleep. In a way, it’s like all of our defenses are off if we’re going to experience pleasure, and if we’re present, then all of our defense systems are switched off in order to experience climactic states. We know that. We know that. And so in order to really be there in that, in that scenario, and receive you need to have every single part of your armor dissolved, yeah, and yeah, and that’s a lot that’s very that’s a very confronting space to be in for so many people, because of their history and because we haven’t been taught we haven’t been taught about receiving very well in general. We’ve been taught a lot about penetrating and doing and generating. We’ve been taught a lot about that energy, and I love that energy, by the way, obsessed, and where we get to balance it out is really going deeper into the receiving aspect of life, and then how that flows into the bedroom.

21:10

Yeah, well, also, if you think generationally as well, you know the fact that women couldn’t even get mortgages, like, was it one or two generations ago without a man? I mean, there are so many ways that we as women also now are more empowered. And there isn’t just that sense of, because, you know, there’s some countries I go to where there is still a huge imbalance, and you sense from the women, there’s that sense of, you know, you’re making Do you made your bed, you’re going to lie in it. Well, you know, we’re now living in a world where women have economic stability and power to be able to make bold decisions. And so with that, comes alongside a different kind of balance between men and women, which, in and out of itself, can be confronting, right? We’re increasingly seeing all sorts of information online about what it is to be a man, what it is to be a woman, but it’s exciting because it’s also opening up this possibility of really owning what sex is for us, which, like you say, I think, you know, at school, you’re just taught about it, like it’s some kind of mechanism, like it’s like how you make a car run, rather than something that actually gets to be a part of who we are and the joy. So I’m curious to know, because you were sharing earlier on about how people will gamble on their business, but how they can be slower to do this kind of work. What are the types of resist? You know? What? Why do you think there is a resistance around doing this kind of work? Just in case there’s anyone who’s listening who deeply needs this, that there might be something you can share that they need to hear right now that helps them recognize why? Why? Why it might be time to let go of that particular type of resistance they have right now?

22:39

Yeah, I think the biggest thing is we have a silent expectation that when you commit to a long term relationship, whether married or not, that you should just be able to work things out between yourselves like you should, that you should just be able to solve everything in house, then it’s a somewhat private arrangement that anything that comes up can kind of be dealt with. There’s a taboo around seeing someone, around seeing someone else. There’s a lot of taboo around seeing other people, but there’s a lot of there’s a lot of stigma around seeing a professional because society has made that mean things are really bad. Like, things have got to be really bad if you see a professional to talk about your relationship. Like, if things are going that well, why would you need to see someone? And it’s really interesting, because I have the benefit of this wisdom. I we elected to start seeing someone as an impartial party, to look at our relationship. Things weren’t bad, things weren’t bad. But I was like, but if we don’t get another perspective or shift some of the patterning, I could see how it could get bad. I could, I could, kind of, I could see how a domino effect could take place, as two people with no close by family support and young children and own business, and I could see it. I was just like, whoa. I just got a like a flash. I was like, let’s go see someone now, because things are going to change. Things are going to change between us. Things are going to change on an individual level. So I kind of had that, I had that foresight for us, and we’re still seeing someone four years later, and it’s incredible. And I just there are times where I go, I don’t know what we this is amazing. This is amazing, but it really is our insurance for our relationship. And so I think I just want people to know you’re not meant to do this all on your own and just work it out. And there’s a point where, yes, books are great, but seeing someone, oh my god, getting that immediate feedback on how you’re relating and how you handle the situation, and if that’s a. Situation happen again, how you could handle it? And we we see someone who is trauma informed and uses a somatic approach to a lot of the work. And the difference is just, I mean, of course I would see someone with a somatic approach, but the the difference is just remarkable, because it’s not just all in your head, what you’re thinking on the conversations, it’s really what’s happening in your body as things, as things are taking place between the two of you. And yeah, for anyone listening, there’s no there’s no shame in having, in seeing someone and and investing in relationship and going, you know what? For this short amount of time, let’s get another perspective on how we’re going, and maybe get some a fresh approach, or some specific techniques that we can implement so that we are running smoothly, like we do this for our car. We do this for our we do this for almost anything, but our relationships, because of pride. Pride gets in the way, but not beautiful. I’m proud. It’s that real shadow side of pride, like I’m too proud to to go there, because it means something’s wrong, and there’s no absolutes. It just means that you’re ensuring the thing that is the most

26:18

investing in anything in your life, investing in your relationship is like, that’s the one thing that’s going to be with you, hopefully until your very last moments on this planet, and where your core memories and the most valuable things that are ever going to happen to you will often be around. And so to think that we invest in other areas of our lives which are short term or give us short term pleasure, and potentially could hold back from that is Yeah. And I also when you mentioned 40s, I was like, Yeah. And it’s such a pivotal time between what you just shared about having small children potentially being carers to elderly parents. We live in this massively individualistic society now where we do not have a village around us and people going, hey, you know, you guys deserve a date night, go out and do something. We also fall into patterns of like, living in the same area, living in the same house, hanging out the same friends, like in your 20s, you can bring novelty and excitement just through being in your 20s and moving around and having very few things to tie you down. So in your 40s, it’s such a different experience. And then add on top that a lot of people, potentially, have been in their relationship for a long time, and there’s also that sense of, like, you know, we’re not getting any younger or sexier, and so if ever there’s a time to kind of work on this, I can totally see why it’s so important. Because even the pattern piece, like, I just think, you know, as you get to know somebody’s body and what they like and don’t like, you will inevitably kind of fast track to the bits you know exactly around with the bits you’re not so certain about. So that sense of falling into a predictable pattern, like we don’t do it because we don’t love someone we’re doing because we’re like, look how well I know you and your body that I can go straight to the bits you enjoy. But before you know that that, in and as of itself, has become predictable. And there can be real vulnerability about kind of saying, Actually, can we do this today? Or would you like to do that? Because you’re worried, like, Well, where do they get their inspiration from? Are they bored of me? Like, communication obviously plays such a huge role there as well. Yeah. So I can totally see by having someone external supporting you through what can feel very vulnerable, and what can feel very exposing. And like you say, all the kind of stories around it that people can make up about what it means to do this work. But we’ve kind of gone into the sex part a bit more, and I want to definitely bring this conversation back to the business piece as well, because that is one of the things that made me feel like I had to get you on this podcast. I felt like we couldn’t get to that bit without exploring this part, because it’s all, as you say, connected. But was it something about your own business journey that made you recognize, like, this is something I would like to blend as a way of supporting people? Or, like, what was the piece that brought you here?

28:57

Yeah, that’s a that’s a really great question, because I was solely working as a sex therapist until 2020 and I’m a really good sex therapist, by the way, I really, I bet you are. But just to speak to that piece, it was interesting. It wasn’t that I wasn’t good at what I did. I just, that’s why I’m saying that. I’m just saying it from the pieces. Wasn’t that I wasn’t good at what I did, and it wasn’t even that I didn’t love it. I literally had a voice come into my head in 2020 saying, You’re not a sexologist anymore. You’re a confidant. And I’m like, that was, that was when I met you in, you know, around 2020 Yeah, in 2020 and I’d kind of, kind of, I was letting go of the sex because I wanted to, I wanted to start talking about all the other things around sex for a while. That’s what I wanted, and I felt like, and I learned a lot in that, in that stage that I went through for a number of years of just really talking about power and pleasure. Yeah, it was almost like, to be really honest, I needed a break from sex in order to want to come back to it like I

 30:07

really have. I mean, you were pursuing your pleasure and passion. So from your perspective, that’s how it felt. From an outsider’s perspective, I was looking in going, of course, this woman who knows about pleasure and passion, and pursuing your joy and owning your desires is owning her own desire and exploring that. I mean, that is just so on point. Yeah,

30:28

what? Yeah, it was on point. And I’m really, I’m really glad I went there and I got so much out of it and really grew the business as well in terms of speaking to authority, energy and turn on and all of those things that surround sex. And to another factor is censorship, censorship and just mentioning like, I still have to try and muddle words sometimes on social, and I know that there are things that I’ve put out where I’ve either sworn or I’ve said erotic or I’ve said something and it and, you know, something’s fallen flat. So censorship was also wearing me down a little bit back then. So I had a break, and I just went through this massive surge more than six months ago, maybe I’m not sure when, and just went, Oh, I need to bring it back. But there was this thing in my mind that went, not yet. I tried, I did a couple of posts, and that actually pulled back, but I knew I was doing it was all conscious. And then I had a session with my husband, and it was like, I walked out that session. I go. Now’s the time I go. I am so fucking ready. I’m so fucking ready, and now that I’m so ready, I can’t not talk about sex. It was like this. It would, truly was like the stars align. The stars must have gone, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And I walked out of that couple session and just went, I am born to fucking do I am born. I’m going there and I’m going all in. And ever since I did that, I can just feel, I actually feel so alive. It was like, Oh, I just needed to go everywhere, or I need to get stuff out of my system. I needed to just go there. And I learned so much that’s that’s still coming through to this day. No regrets ever about following the path of turn on and what lights you up. But now I’m like the in terms of being lit up. It’s just a blaze. I’m literally a walking channel. I’m just doing a bit of Oh, and I’m like, but I just let it sit there, and I let the feeling kind of stir inside of me, and I just and I use it and I infuse it in my business, and just go, there’s not always something to do with that. It’s just a really pleasurable throb that I get to walk around with and go, Yeah, this is what it’s all about. Like, this is what it needed to be, and this is why I needed to just gently walk away for a few years in order to really amplify it and really amplify it for our 40s and this stage of life, and what happens in business and what we’ve all been through, and health stuff and relationship conflict and having neurodivergent children, just just all of it, it was almost like I needed to really be in my own life as I did that work, and now I’ve gotten everything I need From that in order to really be able to create an incredible space for other women going through similar things,

 33:27

yeah, and I really love that you share that, because I think a lot of us at some point in business, you know, like, for example, last year, I did mainly one to one work, and I did less group work, despite being known as a group program lady, I took some time away from it because I similarly, kind of fell out of love with it temporarily, and needed to find my joy and my spark. And it’s back. And now I’m like 80% group programs, 20% one to one, and the kind of it’s turned upside down again. But I needed that break. And I think in the work we do to stay devotional to the work we do, sometimes it does require, like, dropping the discipline and it in that moment. It can feel like the messy middle, but as I hear you talk about it, I’m like, that doesn’t sound messy at all to me. That just sounds like, you know, he was stoking the kind of Kindles to kind of bring the fire that you’re in now. And like there’s a sustainability about that on the other side, when we take the time, when we when we’re in that self trust, where we allow ourselves to be on that journey. That’s amazing. And I will also say that you and your husband, my goodness, like the fire, the energy that the kind of desire between you two is palpable through your Instagram account. Yeah, you are a walking billboard for the work you do in regards to like, I mean, I almost fancy your husband just to what you share. Because, like, it transfers, it transfers through the freaking internet. And I’m like, I want a piece of whatever those two are having. It looks great. So, yeah, so I mean, I love that you I love that you share, that you’ve been working on, that, you know, practically, for four years. Because, my goodness, it looks like it’s paying dividends. Oh, it

34:59

really. It. Really did things it was, and this is what I want to say to your listeners. For me, things being good isn’t good enough, and not in a and it just means, like, my bar, my threshold for sensation, is so high, good. Okay, fine. Means, like, is a big drop down. For me. I want things to be extraordinary. I want. I want fantastical things. I want my fantasy to be my real life. I want. I want a lot, but what I want a lot isn’t necessarily things or objects. I really want experiences and deep sensations and to be in spaces that really turn me on, and with people that are just really that can go deep really fast and really stimulate my intellectual curiosity and, you know, really massage my brain like that’s what I that’s what I want more for. It’s not for more stuff. Although stuff is great if you love it, I’m really doing all of this. I’m so driven by experience, so driven by experience, and it’s very it’s very similar. And yes, we’re yes, we’re lucky, but there’s a big effort, and still is to this day, on both of our parts. But I think we’ve just found this rhythm, and we just get each other, because we’ve both got this fire that just will not stop burning for our own passions and directions. And I love that, yeah, and he’s a very sexual person, so he is very supportive, very, very supportive, beautiful man and and I really think that nurturing of the relationship, by God, I’m really glad that we did it, because I thought it would be really sad if we separated, because we both drifted apart, became bitter in some way that to me, just felt really, really sad. And I was like, Well, if I can do anything in my power to prevent that, and we’re also, we’ve also had a very honest conversation of, if we separated, we we know that we would be, we know that we would be close friends. Would be like, you know, Diego and Frida Kahlo, like, we’d have the house with, like, you know, two apartments, probably like, live in the same compound, but in different apartments, we know it’d kind of be like that. So we, you know, ultimately, really sustain that friendship. And I just want to say to anyone listening who can really see that for their own relationship, God, take the leap and get some other perspectives on it and really support it in this unique but really precise way.

37:44

Yeah, that is just such a delicious reflection, and definitely one I feel is really a beautiful way to wrap up this conversation, because what you’ve just shared like life is how we experience it, isn’t it? And I do think sometimes for those on the outside, we can look in on others and go, how is that person so joyful? They must have a very lucky and charmed life. They’re so lucky. They met that amazing man. They’re so lucky. They live in that big house. They’re so lucky. They have a business that gives them XYZ. And what you’ve shared is, you know, some of us are aware that if we take ownership of our business and our habits and what we eat and what we drink and various things like that, that we will live a better, healthier, more present, more conscious, more abundant, rich life. But you know, they’re missing the kind of, you know, like, ultimately, our sex is in our body, and our bodies are a huge part of our experience of life. And I’m kind of getting the impression that when we do the deeper work there as well, like that, is taking total radical responsibility, full ownership of our lived experience across the board. So I’m really excited by what you’re doing, blending mentorship alongside what you do alongside the sexology. Because yes, yes. And you know, what’s beautiful about you is that you are the embodiment of it, and that’s why I love having our regular little DM chats and following everything you’re doing in life. Because, like you say, you live a life of turn on. And I’d never heard someone talk about life that way before, but living your turned on life chefs, guess, yeah, I’m so grateful for

39:30

you. Yeah, I’m so grateful for you. And and all of what we’re talking about is available to you. It’s available to everyone listening, is what I’m trying to say. It’s It’s not this special. What’s their secret they must have. It’s just like, it is a it’s conscious effort, and it’s just conscious, like, feels like the theme of this episode is about, like feeding and nurturing and investing. It’s just and all the small things really counts with this like the small things are the big thing. Things with sex and turn on and eroticism. It really is stuff that is so small most people overlook it, but that when you do that and you do that again and again again, that’s when you get locked in on that current that I was speaking about earlier on. Like it’s really small stuff, but it’s when all your senses are alive. And my belief is they should all your senses should be on for your business like, again, that’s that standard. You should be so in love with your clients, so in love with your office suite, so happy with the money that you make. I just think turn on access all areas, because you didn’t start your own thing to be in your own self imposed prison. You did it to feel free. You did it to be liberated. So go. Don’t just go find it. But go be it.

40:53

Yes, don’t just go find it. Go be it. I love that mic drop moment right there. I mean, for anyone who’s listening and feeling turned on by what you’re sharing. And I also want to make the invitation because I know I’ve been this person to anyone who’s listening. I’m feeling maybe a bit kind of, maybe some resistance, maybe some fear. You know, I know that where I feel resistance, and this isn’t, you know me, kind of telling anyone what to do, but as a reflection where I feel resistance, I know that’s an invitation to explore. Yeah, and you could not be a safer vessel to explore this very sensitive theme. So if anyone’s listening and wants to learn more about you and how they can work with you, please tell my lovely listeners where they can find you.

41:36

Yeah, most definitely. I my handle is Lauren white au, and I am available on Instagram, Facebook. You can friend me on Facebook. And I’ve also got threads, all of them. I’ve even got LinkedIn, which I which I love. I just love seeing like, seeing the response, or like Rob, I think that’s a twisted little secret of minor scope, how’s LinkedIn gonna go.

42:08

But in all seriousness, I’m at laurenwhite.com.au and my link to book a session is laurenwhite.com.au/session if you feel, if you are feeling that resistance that Polly spoke into then I have a book called permission that you can get worldwide. You can get it on Kindle. You can get a hard copy permission by Lauren white, personal liberation for switched on women, and that is all about being sexual just as you are. 

42:37

Love that. Thank you so much for today’s conversation, for all of those links, they will be in the show notes. So you do not need to go scrabbling to the internet, figuring out all the things. It’s all in the show notes. I do recommend clicking on through and saying hi to the amazing Lauren. She’s the most friendliest, loveliest human being on the planet. So I know she’ll say hi back.

42:54

Definitely, definitely there might just be prepared for a conversation like even just saying hello, just be prepared for a conversation probably never had before. Just just a little teaser there.

43:11

Love it. I love it. Thank you, my darling. Wrap up here.

43:15

Oh my goodness. Well, as you can probably tell, I love that conversation with Lauren, and I hope you did too. I hope it’s provoked some questions for you that are challenging you to think about the relationship you have with your business and how you can lean into a life and business where you feel fully turned on. Anyway, if you enjoyed this week’s episode, please, do you know? Leave a review. Share the episode with friends who you think will benefit from it too. And of course, if you loved Lauren, which why wouldn’t you? You can find everything she’s referred to and links to Lauren in the show notes. I will be back in your ears next week with a solo episode following the theme of sales over summer. And the week following, I will have another guest on the show talking about hiring again, another episode that is the first of its kind, and you will not know what she is about to drop. So do tune in, because any of the mistakes you’re making, you’re going to learn quickly, first, how and why those are happening, and, most importantly, how to overcome them. So I’ll be in your ears soon.