00:00

Welcome to Make More Money without Selling Your Soul with me Polly Lavarello, evergreen marketing expert. This podcast is for you if you are an online entrepreneur who is looking to simplify their business to scale.  On this podcast you can expect to hear regular talk about wealth, about selling and about wellbeing. Because I believe these three core fundamental things are pivotal to your growth moving forward.

00:44

Hello and welcome to Make More Money without Selling Your Soul. I am Polly Lavarello, evergreen marketing expert, and I help online business owners to scale their business with simplicity. Yep. I’m a really big fan of how to keep things simple because weirdly enough, a lot of us tend to overcomplicate things in our online business growth, which brings me really neatly onto the subject of this podcast episode, which is is ADHD really a superpower in your business. It’s the phrase that we hear splashed around a lot at the moment. That ADHD is a superpower, but is it really? Now, I should come into this episode with some caveats. One being I am not officially diagnosed ADHD. My daughter almost is in that she’s seen a couple of doctors who have said she is, but she hasn’t had the CAMS diagnosis yet.

However, on that path and in the support she receives in the school, it’s all done under the assumption that she will be diagnosed ADHD, and I am one of those stories that you hear more and more of in that. As my daughter went down this pathway, as we explored what ADHD is and how it’s impacting her and her life, and how she lives and how she is, I saw lots of similarities in myself and suddenly a lot of things made so much more sense than they had done previously.

In fact, for me it was a bit of a celebration. I know that’s not the same for everyone. I know for some people it’s, you know, a grieving period. You know, I think ultimately, I mean, I, it’s, it’s a challenging one, right? I don’t think I, as I, I don’t need to say that there’s no right or wrong in this situation.

For me, it was a long, drawn out period trying to get any kind of diagnosis for my daughter, which meant that by the time she had it, I was celebrating because I just wanted to really feel like I could understand how to support her better, and actually as I learned better how to support her. I learned better how to support myself and advocate for myself and not make apologies for myself anymore and actually be clearer and more boundaried around what does work for me and what doesn’t work for me.

And that in itself was a massive celebration after years of wondering why am I the only person like. Which obviously I’m not, there’s so many of us, but after years of feeling really socially excluded for, you know, what I feel makes me different. And I should also by the way, caveat this with, I also believe chances are if I were to get into the, into a, a room with a doctor who knows that stuff, I would most likely be diagnosed autistic as well.

And that’s where I’m at. I mean, and I think there’s a lot of us out there like that, right? Like there’s a huge long wait list, wait list for diagnoses. I have my hands full of my children and my business. And to be honest with you, The understanding that I have gained around autism and ADHD while supporting my daughter has really been enough.

Um, I know it’s different for everyone, but I certainly feel like the way I am that things are quite manageable. And we’re gonna talk about more of that in a moment in terms of how do I manage this as a business owner and is it really a superpower? But I wanted to give, you know, start with, you know, some kind of foundations to understand that no, I am not a doctor.

I am not an expert. I haven’t even received an official diagnosis. However, this is just my experience. I’m just sharing with you my experience and the experience I have supporting clients who have ADHD. I guess there’s a few things to say here. One is I think there’s a lot of neurodiverse people in the entrepreneurial space because it’s so well suited to people who are neurodiverse.

A lot of us don’t like working in teams. We don’t, we’re really happy working alone. We have two big ideas to be boxed inside some kind of corporate office. So I think there’s a natural tendency for neurodiverse people to choose to work themselves, which is why it’s not unsurprising that I have quite a few ADHD clients.

And on top of that, I also believe that, you know, there’s probably something about me, that attracts them into, and I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. So this is sharing from my experience and also what I’ve witnessed in those clients who’ve come to work with. In terms of the things I feel have made perhaps business slightly more challenging or some of the things that have helped me kind of recognize in those moments.

Ooh. Is that me talking or is that my ADHD brain talking? . So one thing I see really often for people who’ve got ADHD is, is the propensity towards shiny object syndrome seems to be a lot stronger. I find that a lot of the ADHD clients I’ve worked with have been immensely intelligent. I don’t wanna bracket myself there either, but, um, Yeah, I’d, I’d say I’m pretty intelligent.

And so, you know, having that intelligence, having that creative drive, having that obsession with wanting to learn all the things, um, I often find it’s myself, my PhD clients who are the ones who often come to me saying, I have signed up to all the things. All the things, and regularly felt let down, often because user experience inside that actual coaching program.

Was not fit for somebody with ADHD not fit for somebody who’s perhaps got a limited focus, limited attention span, a different way of learning, and I really don’t think that’s good enough. That’s that’s why my own program has been updated. To make it more inclusive, to make it more accessible, to make it more digestible.

Because I really believe, like I say, in a world where so many self-employed people are also on the spectrum, I believe it should be obligatory to look at your learning content through the lens of the user experience and to make sure that it’s fit for purpose. Um, which unfortunately I don’t think happens.

In this space. But anyway, that’s something that we as a business are, are, are always working on. But yeah, so the, the tendency to sign up to all the programs, to want to do all the certifications, to move from I am in this niche. I’m now in that niche. I’m now selling this, I’m now doing that. I’m now working with this person.

And I’m gonna talk to you in a moment about the flip side of that. Okay? So I don’t want you to assume this whole episode is about me being negative because it’s really, really not. I think it’s really good to have self-awareness around. What we can find ourselves being drawn to. Cuz I think once you have that level of self-awareness and start to understand why we’re doing certain things, the easier it is to manage.

Because I’m not saying this from my high horse. I’m saying this is someone who, in the first two years of online business, similarly spent so much money signing up to all the things and now I’m very consciously really trying to be very minimalistic in what it is that I can sign up for so that I can really give it a hundred percent recognizing.

I’m very boundaried now around the number of hours I want to be working in business, and so I’m not going to be overcommitting to things like I did previously, but it took that awareness of recognizing, oh, that’s what’s going on here. Like, yes, I love learning. Yes, there’s always more things I want to be doing.

is that helpful to my online business? Is that helpful to my sanity? Is that helpful to my bank balance and where the answers were? No. It’s like, okay, well let’s reassess for a moment, shall we? Secondly, and this is aligned actually with point number one, impulsive financial risk taking. Again, unfortunately, it’s something I find very much associated with A D H D tend.

Again, not exclusive by any means, and you know, it’s very possible you can be ADHD and not have this as a tendency, but you know, I find for me, talking from personal experience, I have found the combination of learning about energetics, the combination of learning about when you put money out there and the money’s gonna come back.

Has actually been quite risky in combination with my already very ADHD tendency to love spending money. Um, you know, that sense of kind of looking for that dopamine hit of like, oh yeah, I’ve just spent loads of money on something. All the good stuff’s gonna come now. Followed by the crash of like, oh shit.

Now there’s not very much money coming in. What do I need to do to bring in more business? I mean, this is the kind of risk, right, with online business when you have ADHD, is that propensity to potentially burning yourself out because you put yourself in these precarious situations. You know, we, you may have kind of grown up in that precarious way of always giving in your homework, like always last minute to the deadline and that.

Way of living, of always being on the very edge of what you are doing can translate across to how you manage your money and various other things, which means that you almost feel like this is your way of living and being. It’s very hard to imagine it being any other way. And like I say, again, this is something I kind of admit to a hundred percent that has been my journey.

I’ve made lots of money over the last two years, and boy have I been good at spending it as well. Um, and certainly moving into 2023, that’s something I’m being very way more conscious about because, well, yes. I’m not going to deny that in many cases why I’ve invested more money. I’ve also made more money back.

At the same time, I can recognize there are various things I did not need to be investing in. And I have been burnt by impulsively signing up to, well, one particular one-to-one coach, which did not end up well. So, um, Yeah, definitely good to kind of lean into. I, I mean, in this case, I love writing a list. I think lists are very good ways to kind of pull the logic out where the heart’s trying to take over, and maybe not in the most helpful way.

Of course, the other things that come up in business is the inability to focus. If I am in a Zoom room for, I don’t know, over 20 minutes. If the conversation isn’t engaging, if there isn’t a way to kind of keep everyone in the cool, engaged and interacting, it can be very easy for me to lose my focus. And I certainly notice that with people who come onto my calls as well.

That’s, this is why I love things like hot seat coaching. It’s very dynamic, it’s very engaging. It’s why I like incorporating it with people, having the opportunity to share and support each other at the end of the call, um, so that they’re interested in what they are hearing from one another and ensuring that there are clear boundaries around.

Each question and each bit of time that everyone has to speak so that we are firing through them fast enough to keep people happily engaged. Um, what’s the other thing? So, um, yeah, propensity to overthink. This one is a big one. This one’s a really big one. I really had to sit with, like, I, I find it really easy.

to go off on crazy spiraly thoughts. And I know I’m not alone with this. I know that, um, certainly with many of the ADHD clients I’ve supported, there’s definitely been situations where it’s been like, can I have this idea and this idea, and I could be doing this and I could be doing that. And it’s, you know, for some people who I’ve worked with who aren’t ADHD, sometimes it’s hard getting together.

Even just one idea. Yeah. With my ADHD clients and myself included, it’s, it’s the, this is having too many ideas, too many things. We could be doing, too many gifts we could be bringing to the world and figuring out, you know, how, you know, the, one of the biggest learnings for me, which is why I created Scale with a Power one, was that actually doing too many things at the same time is actually really damaging for your growth.

If you want to be known as the go-to expert in a particular, Really own it really become, you know, not just, not just be an expert, but become a master in that area of expertise and, you know, build up a body of work and, and learning content that just totally dominates the industry. The only way to do that is really committing and going all in.

So while yes, there are a hundred things we could be doing, it’s generally speaking, not very helpful to be trying to pursue those a hundred things all at the same time. Even when you think about the big brands out. None of them went out there and went, I wanna take up the entire grocery aisle around dry foods.

Let’s be pasta, let’s be knocky, let’s be tin tomatoes, let’s be, no they, they go in with one product they really want to excel at. Everyone thinks that that’s product is amazing. And then as they perhaps add on additional things that compliment it, they’ll then continue to trust that brand off the back of the one thing they trusted in the first place.

It’s very much the same with offers. And if people dunno what it is you’re offering because you’re constantly changing what it is. , it really damages that authority. Another thing that has been enormous for me is sensitivity to rejection. And this really shows up. I mean, for some people I see it showing up around social media, but it really appears to be there so much for myself.

I actually think from being at school and being a bit like the weird one, , the one that made the silly jokes, the one that was happy to goof around. The one that would be the first on the dance floor. The second the lights came on, and then we were like, oh, look at Polly doing silly seventies dancing. You know, the confide.

Behind That wasn’t really confidence, it was kind of anxiety. It was that nobody likes me anyway, so I may as well get on the dance one, have a dance, like, you know, I’m not gonna be the one pulling tonight on , the school disco, or the one that all my friends will wanna dance with. Like, the only way people might like me is if I’m a bit silly and I go for a dance on the floor.

And you know, similarly, you know, just kind of perhaps blurting about something that you think might amuse people, you know? So I kind of found social media WA was kind of similar in that. I’m like, well, you know what, if they like it or don’t like it, , it doesn’t really matter cuz I’ve never really been used to being really liked or being really popular.

So if anyone sees this and goes, oh Polly, well story of my life doesn’t really bother me. Uh, and that’s really freeing. It’s been really good for being able to get on social media and just say, and, and, and record podcasts like this. You know? I know some people listen to this and go, well, that’s not my story.

And that’s okay. That’s totally. In fact, I expect it to be that way, and it doesn’t bother me in the way that I know it can bother many others. But what it does really impact is sales calls. It’s that moment perhaps when you’re meeting somebody for the first time on a sales call, and the when, when, when they, if they show any kind of mistrust or dislike in yourself or the program.

You know, for me it’s been a big journey around not taking it personally. There’s been a lot of work around reframing what the nature of those calls is, the dynamic of those calls. I mean, there, there’s so much stuff that’s gone on around it, but it, I was really conscious really early on that I would freeze up a bit in those situations unless people came on really, really enthusiastic, really, really excited about working with me.

I would just find. Being really, really awkward. I’d feel like a little schoolgirl again, just thinking like, oh my gosh, I really wanted the teacher to like me. Why’d she, why does she put a red mark on my homework? Why am I not grieving all of this? Because there is a flip side to all of these things, which is equally beautiful, and also the awareness around it, even when it’s not beautiful.

Cause I’m not gonna admit that. I’m not gonna say there’s really a flip side to the hypersensitivity, to rejection that ever feels particularly good. But being aware of it has been really helpful. Rather than thinking, why am I so sensitive? Why do I care so much about what er flip thinks? Instead, it’s like, oh, okay, this is just how I’m wired.

And so that’s why that feels like it’s so big, but it’s not really that big. Okay, so how do I manage this differently moving forward? Um, so for me it’s just opened up a whole plethora of options and ways of doing things and celebrations, like my hyperfocus. Is what allowed me to get through my first year of business successfully, my ability to really go all in on my business, my enthusiasm.

I mean, I’ve met some people who I’ve talked about being self-employed to and gone. It’s really the best, like having my own company now is just awesome, and a lot of them be like, I just don’t think I have Emmi poly. I just can’t imagine being like you and answering emails and the, and the nighttime, the first year of your business, or working a bit on a Sunday to get ahead for the week.

Well for me, I know those nighttime email responses or working a bit on the weekend has only ever been in the context of also perhaps taking the whole of Friday off and Wednesday afternoon going out to hang out with my kids. So for me, being a bit flexible in other areas has always been good, and to be honest with you, as a business has matured, there’s been less and less need to do any of those things.

But yeah, there’s no denying the first year of business I was fully in, fully committed and that hyperfocus, that hyperdrive around what it was I was creating really carried me. The other thing is creativity, of course. Like, like I say, yeah, we can get a bit carried away with it all. Yes, that creativity can overwhelm us.

At times, all the ideas can be too much, and at the same time, you know what? I’m so grateful for them. I am never short of ideas of what to do on social media of what to be doing in my business, of what to experiment with next because, My brain is like, is like some I, I once described it to someone. I was like, have you seen a beautiful Mind the bit where Russell crossing all the numbers on the wall?

I’m like, sometimes that’s that. I feel like that’s my brain most nights when I go to bed. I’ve learned strategy to not do that anymore . But for a long time when I was super driven and when my nervous system was on high hyper overdrive, that’s what my brain was like, just flooded with ideas and there’s a real resiliency.

So what I was speaking about earlier about the whole like, oh, I can go on social media. You know, like, and yes, the whole rejection thing as well, like, because I spent a lot of my childhood always feeling a bit rejected. There’s a resiliency around that. There’s a resiliency around being misunderstood.

There’s a resiliency around being the slightly quirky, crazy woman. There’s a resiliency around just trying things and, and maybe it not working out and, and then just carrying on. I guess as someone who’s always felt like I’m not doing things quite right, I’ve learned that that’s okay and I can carry on not doing things quite right.

There are other people I see who, who it totally stifles them. The second they think they might have looked a bit silly, or the second they think they might have done something wrong. Well, for me, I’m just like, ah, this is my modus operandi onto the next thing, and that’s really, really helpful in online.

So with self-awareness, we can improve all of these things. But I’ll tell you the one pivotal thing that has helped me immensely since recognizing these neurodiverse tendencies of mine that can leave me procrastinating being a perfectionist, just. All, all the things, you know, sometimes just wanting to hide in my bed for a day because I’m just overwhelmed.

I mean, one of the worst things about ADHD is I did, I really did burn myself out in the first year of online business. And like I say, this self-awareness has really helped me recognize what those habits were that drove me to be in that situation. And alongside work that I’ve done around subconscious transformation with the incredible Laura Hasson.

I also spent one year working with beautiful Tamsin Cremins on, um, my nervous system and nervous system regulation. And if you are unaware of what nervous system regulation is, which I was just over a year ago, then I cannot recommend it more highly. Sometimes people refer to themselves like Tamsin as a somatic coach, but it all kind of is working in the same area.

And it was immensely powerful for me. The thing that opened my eyes to it was recognizing how powerful, regular cold showers were for my focus, for my mood, um, for that sense of achievement every morning. And so it led me to reaching out to Tamin and she and I worked together really closely for a whole year, one to one.

And it’s why she’s now inside my skill with a power one container supporting my entrepreneurs. Because what I recognized was by learning how to get out of that fight or flight mode, or the foreign or freeze mode. I think those are the correct terms. Um, you know, rather than kind of being stuck. You know, it really stressing myself up.

My body was showing signs of stress. I was getting migraines, I had gut issues. Um, I had painful periods since learning how to kind of really work with my body, that’s why I’m recording this podcast. I couldn’t recall podcasts before. I felt too anxious. I was really overthinking what it was I was gonna be saying.

I didn’t have the same clarity of mind. I didn’t have the ability to focus. So nervous system regulation is huge. I mean, I’ve reached a good PI point now on this podcast to, um, close this up because nervous system regulation is the whole big conversation. But if it’s not something you’ve looked into, please give somatic work or nervous system regulation, a Google.

you won’t regret it. So if any of this has resonated with you, if any of this is like, oh my gosh, Polly, I feel like you have been watching me, please do reach out to me on Instagram at poly lare. I always love to hear. What it is that has resonated with you in these episodes. I am also inviting you to a private training at the end of this month.

It’s gonna be on January the 25th, and if you are a coach who perhaps is feeling a little bit burnt out, Perhaps a bit disillusioned with live launching, or maybe you are fully booked with one-to-ones. If you are looking for a way to scale your business with more simplicity, I’m inviting you to my free private training, January the 25th, to learn the five steps you need in order to turn your group program evergreen.

You are also gonna see the behind the scenes of my business and how it’s structured to map, maximize lead generation and profitability. And you’re gonna be learning the all important numbers that you need to be tracking inside your business to ensure what you are creating is scalable and profit. It’s gonna be amazing.

I’d love to see you there. If you’d like to sign out. The link is below this podcast, so please do go check it out and I shall speak to you soon. On the next episode, I’m gonna be sharing with you how to wake up your email list.